Lose it dating

29-Jan-2018 15:30

The only thing on a woman’s list should be chemistry – and the ability to get it up after a few beers, both essential components to a successful relationship. Are you un-dateable because you’re carrying a few extra pounds or have a moustache in the wrong light? Anyway, short men try harder – but that’s for another blog post.Lowering your expectations at a certain age has nothing to do with settling but everything to do with being realistic about the future.But what if the stakes are much higher than being the last one who texted or the one who says “I love you” first?What if the stakes are really about the person you become in the process and who the other person becomes as a result of your interactions with them?I believe that truly fulfilling love comes from God and can be experienced through multiple channels including your immediate family, friends, the Church.

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But dating has always been the truest test of my theology–because how do you show sacrificial, Christ-like love in a system that the world says is often designed to end in disappointment with a win or a lose, where the person who cares the least or gives the least stays a step ahead? And this has always been my biggest fear with dating: that I am a loser.

Um, when you figure that out, could you let me know?

My belief system about romantic love was influenced by my cultural upbringing, my family history, and my early relationships.

I work for an organization that highly values family, in which work conferences seem like a tongue-in-cheek mingling session for singles.

I’m plagued with ads for dating apps, previews of chick flicks, and #mancrushmonday posts. Tack onto this the different messages about how to date: “Just wait on God’s timing, be open, but don’t be too open, initiate, don’t initiate, wait for the guy who sees how awesome you are, just be awesome and don’t worry about it, text him first, wait three days, don’t be too eager, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable…but guard your heart!

But dating has always been the truest test of my theology–because how do you show sacrificial, Christ-like love in a system that the world says is often designed to end in disappointment with a win or a lose, where the person who cares the least or gives the least stays a step ahead? And this has always been my biggest fear with dating: that I am a loser.Um, when you figure that out, could you let me know?My belief system about romantic love was influenced by my cultural upbringing, my family history, and my early relationships.I work for an organization that highly values family, in which work conferences seem like a tongue-in-cheek mingling session for singles.I’m plagued with ads for dating apps, previews of chick flicks, and #mancrushmonday posts. Tack onto this the different messages about how to date: “Just wait on God’s timing, be open, but don’t be too open, initiate, don’t initiate, wait for the guy who sees how awesome you are, just be awesome and don’t worry about it, text him first, wait three days, don’t be too eager, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable…but guard your heart! With the help of Cher and her lipsticked posse, I learned the game of love has a lot of rules: getting love requires a wide selection of outfits and a plan, you don’t show all your cards, you can’t text back too quickly, shopping heals most wounds, and you only want the people you can’t have.