Lose it dating

29-Jan-2018 15:30

Presuming you’re not a 21-year-old Victoria Secrets model, you have one of two options.Lower your expectations and accept that not all men are over six feet tall, have a full head of hair and an MA in cunnilingus or spend your life dreaming of the day you’re whisked away by Mr Perfect to spend the rest of your life in a mortgage free home watching Disney films and wishing you could do lunch with Belle and Cinderella.I believe that truly fulfilling love comes from God and can be experienced through multiple channels including your immediate family, friends, the Church.On the other hand, most of my best friends are married before the age of 24.I learned that the person who cares least has the most power. My relationship with Jesus has radically rewritten the way I see love.But dating has always been the truest test of my theology–because how do you show sacrificial, Christ-like love in a system that the world says is often designed to end in disappointment with a win or a lose, where the person who cares the least or gives the least stays a step ahead? And this has always been my biggest fear with dating: that I am a loser.Being 21 means you are slightly more within your rights to pick and choose a partner who matches your criteria.

I believe that you can live a happy, fulfilling life as a single person (after all, both Jesus and Paul stayed single).We learn early on that the loser is the one who “can’t get over it.” When someone rejects us, we retort that we didn’t care anyways.We play it safe, we ambiguously hang out until we are sure our affections are returned.Because somewhere along the way, showing that you care too much, too soon, became terribly uncool.Showing you care more than the other person became incredibly foolish. So we build up our defenses, we hide how we feel, we shove emotions down, we belt out some Beyoncé, we learn not to cry in front of others.

I believe that you can live a happy, fulfilling life as a single person (after all, both Jesus and Paul stayed single).

We learn early on that the loser is the one who “can’t get over it.” When someone rejects us, we retort that we didn’t care anyways.

We play it safe, we ambiguously hang out until we are sure our affections are returned.

Because somewhere along the way, showing that you care too much, too soon, became terribly uncool.

Showing you care more than the other person became incredibly foolish. So we build up our defenses, we hide how we feel, we shove emotions down, we belt out some Beyoncé, we learn not to cry in front of others.

‘I don’t date men under 5’11, who aren’t earning over £50,000 a year or who have children from a previous relationship.’ Get over yourself, girlfriend.