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19-Feb-2018 13:12

“The conversation evolved over a long period of time, like a couple years to get to the open relationship.”Yes: Ashley Madison is that dating site you’ve heard of where married men and women go to date new people. But, according to 58 percent of the men and women who took our survey, cheating begins when you start keeping secrets — and there’s no room for secrets in Stephanie’s relationship.“We both separately created profiles and then we gave each other passwords and login information for the other so that we could monitor what was going on,” she explained.However, she claims neither of them has ever had to use them. We were both very open with sharing what we were doing.”Stephanie and her partner’s decision to open their relationship may seem like a drastic one, but the reasoning behind it is valid. “There’s nothing missing in our relationship, it’s just an additional element to it. It’s simply an extra bit of fun.”Stephanie said that these days, she and her partner aren’t active on the site.The men did this even though the company basically warned them that this was going to happen in the terms of service agreement.Here's Newitz: "[T]here is a clause in the Ashley Madison terms of service that notes that 'some' people are using the site purely 'for entertainment' and that they are 'not seeking in person meetings with anyone they meet on the Service, but consider their communications with users and Members to be for their amusement.' The site stops short of saying these are fake people, but does admit that many profiles are for 'amusement only.'" But the true genius of the scam is that, as a friend of mine pointed out, once the men got wise to what Ashley Madison was doing, they had no recourse. They were going to risk public exposure by trying to go after the site for scamming them.They met after both having experienced failed marriages.“We both came from pretty difficult previous marriages,” she told me.“Largely sexless.”Stephanie and her partner aren’t alone.However, only 20 million male "users" ever bothered to check their Ashley Madison message box even once, and only 11 million male users ever engaged the website's chat function, even once.

(That would be roughly half of all married people between the ages of 25 and 55.) (Which sounded incredibly implausible.) And now we know that Ashley Madison's claims were implausible.Being comfortable with your partner is a good thing, but becomes harmful if it leads to complacency, which is dangerous territory for long-term, monogamous relationships.According to Andrea Miller, author of , “not only does complacency threaten the viability of your relationship, it often erodes your well-being and self-esteem.Clearly, this is not an ideal world, as the survey also revealed that only 38 percent of those people actually do have sex that often. They started using Ashley Madison about seven years into their relationship.Stephanie and her partner vowed to make their current relationship far better than those they experience in the past, ready to do whatever they could to ensure they stay together. “We always would couple watch and be like ‘oh, that person’s attractive,’ so nothing was really off-limits,” Stephanie said.

(That would be roughly half of all married people between the ages of 25 and 55.) (Which sounded incredibly implausible.) And now we know that Ashley Madison's claims were implausible.

Being comfortable with your partner is a good thing, but becomes harmful if it leads to complacency, which is dangerous territory for long-term, monogamous relationships.

According to Andrea Miller, author of , “not only does complacency threaten the viability of your relationship, it often erodes your well-being and self-esteem.

Clearly, this is not an ideal world, as the survey also revealed that only 38 percent of those people actually do have sex that often. They started using Ashley Madison about seven years into their relationship.

Stephanie and her partner vowed to make their current relationship far better than those they experience in the past, ready to do whatever they could to ensure they stay together. “We always would couple watch and be like ‘oh, that person’s attractive,’ so nothing was really off-limits,” Stephanie said.

However, only 20 million male users ever bothered to check their Ashley Madison message box even once, and only 11 million male users ever engaged the website's chat function, even once.